20th June 2009,
11.15pm, blogging from Singapore, sitting on the couch, full blast fan blowing on my red rosy face.. thinking how to put my thoughts in words. It has been 3 weeks working in Singapore. And in a new environment; totally reverse and so vast different. Work has been fast pace and I am trying to catch up fast. Chasing after time. Singapore pharmacists work very hard, unlike Malaysia.. Here nurses are pampered, the opposite I think pharmacists are overloaded. However, according to my senior pharmacist, the learning curve is huge and the experience are rewarding.
I really miss home. Don't know why, I can miss home every weekends, miss mum more when I received her sms or even talk to her. Miss my friends in Penang, my hospital and the familiar ground. Here everything new, and I really hate traveling with public transport. 3 weeks has gone yet I still not used to it. Am I making myself more tiring by hating the change? Reflecting back, my heels were bleeding and full of blisters first day of work, walking a lot. 4th day I fell down on the roadside because of the cheap high heel shoe, thus injured my left knee -bleed. Now, guess my skin growing thicker, and slowly trained to get used to the abrasion and force.
All that has happened, each wrapped with every new adventures as the day passed by. As I tried to settle down in my workplace and sort of getting more familiar with the workflow, there suddenly comes a call from my boss assisstant asking me to meet boss during lunch. Thought maybe he wants to see my progress after more than 2 weeks of work, but to my surprise.. he has something more challenging for me. He wants me to take up a new portfolio, to be Inpatient In Charged. Hey, are You kidding me, Lord? I am just so happily out of the Management position, and now less than a month of working in unknown world, this man who don't even know much about me asking me to be In-Charged? You must be joking man... I almost fall off my chair. And this man in front of me was non stop 'preaching' to me about You and that whatever his achievement is all because of You. Oh man... What should be my response?
Searching my heart, I never wanted to be Manager, can I just be a normal submissive worker or co-worker who can just take instruction from superior and perform whichever task allocated for me? Maybe God knows am too easily get contented and complacent and He wants to push me further, to extend my tent, to test my limitation?
Lord, can You please give me a break, not this one Lord.. Can I say No, No, No please No.. But if it's Your Will, and really it's You, then let Your Will be done, and not my will. Lord, if it is really from You, You got to help me pull it through, this not gonna be easy, am dealing with Singaporean and International Standard. You enable me, not because I am able, but You are Lord, You are. The days ahead gonna be really challenging, help me to appreciate the journey and not just focus on the destination.. and I am gonna journey it with Him, You who are in me, is greater than those who is in the world.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Taking Each Day as a Gift from God
29th May 2009,
5.40pm Friday afternoon. Blogging from my new place in Singapore, my second home. Sitting on the floor with the notebook on my lap and in front of me is the full blast fan blowing towards my face. Am drenched with sweat, it's really really scorning hot here. Wonder why Singapore can be that burning hot than Penang, both are island. Sigh, getting headache and feel like throwing up. Tried to take afternoon nap also can't seem to doze off, guess my brain still processing what to do next, and my body still trying to adjust to the new environment. I prayed for rains... Let His rains come down and wash over the earth, grant us cooling weather.
Today is simple, cook some desert - "White Fungus Barley Pak Koh", good to cool down the body. Still warm, need to wait for it to cool down before put it in the fridge. Am waiting for Gavin to come back from work. Initially thought of wanting to cook for dinner, but the weather too hot, and I don't have the mood and inspiration to cook, next time la. Took a bus to NUH just now, Bus No.198. According to the streetdirectory website, the estimated journey should be less than 30mins but it took me 35mins to reach NUH. Really not used to the life in Sg, need to walk and take public transport.. and wait for buses. Found a new route to and fro NUH. There're free shuttle to NUH from Dover MRT, and it is quite frequent, every 10mins. So I have another alternative, can walk 10mins to Lakeside MRT, then 11mins to Dover MRT, and another 10mins to NUH, also almost around the same duration as bus. So I should probably estimate 40-45mins travel time to work.
My feet bleed from walking, maybe cos wearing bad shoes. Am afraid, and still afraid of the changes... The fear is still there, fear of the unknown, fear whether able to cope with the stressful life, fear that my thyroid will get worsen with the stress? Fear whether mum will be alright at home alone, fear whether this relationship will able to work out. All the unnecessary fear.. Perfect love drives out fear... I shouldn't have dwell in the negative, but to fix my eyes on the cross. He who started a good work in us will be faithful to complete it. Just trust Him, and walk each step and each day as a gift from God. To enjoy the little little things in life, the simple pleasures of life.
Let my heart be steadfast Lord, be steadfast in You, unshakable.. and to always be still, knowing Daddy will lead me through whatever storms of life, whatever it comes... And it's a journey, and going to be an exciting journey. Let's start anew, afresh... with Him beside me and learn to fall in love with Him once again, deeper in love.. not to be distracted but to keep my relationship with God alive.. just like a little child holding Daddy's hands.. walking the road.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Random Thoughts and Updates
20th May 2009,
3.57pm Wednesday. Am sitting on my couch, with the laptop on my lap while mum is sitting beside me, watching Hokkein show. Reached Penang safely this morning. Didn't oversleep. Has learned from my first experience overslept in the bus until I don't realise it has passed Penang. In the end, the driver just dumped me at some unknown roadside and I need to find my own way to the Jetty, with my half opened eyes and baggages.. imagine that. One of the unforgettable experience. So am a little smarter now, make a habit to set my alarm each time I travel by bus, to & fro Penang, don't want to end up in alien places. See.. Shirley such a piglet, can sleep so soundly in the bus. That shows how tired I am..
Yes, am so tired. Singapore life is never any bed of roses. The biggest challenge for me is to take public transport. Unlike Penang, I can just start my car engine and drive to anywhere & everywhere I like, whereas in Singapore if you want to go from one place to another, first you need to open up your SMART map, or StreetDirectory and check thoroughly which are the nearest MRT or buses, unless you have GPRS.. just like what Victor has. Car considers as one of the luxury in Sg and for those who has none, we depends a lot on Bus 11 (our two legs) and a pair of GOOD shoe - walk and walk and walk, and for me - sweat and sweat and sweat. According to Gavin, you don't need to go any gym to loose weight, the everyday walking will somehow burn the daily calories or fats in you. Huh! So I got to measure my weight before and say 3 months after Sg stay to see how true is that? Celina seems to worry much about me, knowing me as comfy gal & hommy and just so settled in Penang, life in Singapore definitely will be great challenges for me. Don't know how long it takes for me to cope with the life. It's still too early to gauge whether Singapore is the ideal pace to settle down, raise a family etc. Still prefer Penang... But at least 2 years, minimal 2 years to test the ground and see where God lead from here.
So you may asked, then Why? Why you move then? Guess God work in His own ways. Sometimes He just want us to experience some pinch of life to get us learn ONE lesson. And I know I've been complacent, too comfortable and ignorant about things in Penang. Being a mediocre, Singapore will offer a change of my perspective on things in life?? I don't know, whether it is the RIGHT move, but I know that God is into this.. and I am not walking alone, and it is not solely because of Gavin,.. yes he is a big part of the move, but there are other areas which all combined together moved me into such decision, and it is definitely not a haste one. So now that I've decided, am gonna just close my eyes, hold His hands and walk.. whichever turning He leads I will follow, knowing I will not go wrong if I follow the great Shepherd.
This transition somehow opened my eyes to the people I hold dear in my life. Celina mentioned the other day that I am so blessed in Penang because of so many close friends I have, whether church or non-church friends. She said if I am in troubles, I can just picked up the phone, any frens will definitely avail themself to come to assist. Celina is the opposite way, don't have much friends in common here in JB and she's all left alone. Even with the traumatic robbery experience, she was all alone to cope. And that trained her to be strong, and independant and God is her only source of dependant. I am encouraged by her expereinces and I need to learn to be thankful and NOT complain, grumble or murmurs of my 'small' difficulties. Celina has been strong, and I thank God for such a wonderful sister, that always speaking out the truth in love, speaking words of wisdom into my life. I am ashamed, being the elder sister.. I should 'jaga' her more than she 'jaga' me.
I thank God for mum.. yep, eventhough sometimes I can't stand her naggings and there were little arguements here and there, but I am so touched by her love for me. How she prepared me breakfasts and all the meals readily served on the table, how can I take her love for granted? Simple and loving mum.. love to watch TV and play Suduko, and just stay at home, doing the simple things.. she is just so lovable. When I sicked or down, she offered her arms to hug me. I will miss the moment, to quietly kiss her and hug her before sleep.
I thank God for Becky, she is just so available, eventhough she can always say NO to me, but she always want to be there for me whenever I need her, a friend and sister I can count on, and I wish her happiness.. that she will find.. or someday someone WILL FIND HER, someone she loves and someone who loves her so much.
I thank God for Gavin.. the love of my life. He makes me THINK, he makes my mind to open up to more new things in life. He leads us to pray together everynight before we sleep. He inspired me on the 'Meaning and Purpose in Life". I will always love him, and all of him.. Let our jagged imperfection to fit in well, to complement, and to bring out the best in each other.
I thank God for my CG, they are special bunch of people who accept me the way I am. I thank God for my Pharmacy staff, who able to tolerate my style, my boss- who has been so supportive throughout my years working in Gleneagles, who has now been my FB friend =).
I am so blessed by the many things evolved in my life, and am going to treasure the moments as I journey through the different seasons and phases. THANK YOU, everyone of you!
3.57pm Wednesday. Am sitting on my couch, with the laptop on my lap while mum is sitting beside me, watching Hokkein show. Reached Penang safely this morning. Didn't oversleep. Has learned from my first experience overslept in the bus until I don't realise it has passed Penang. In the end, the driver just dumped me at some unknown roadside and I need to find my own way to the Jetty, with my half opened eyes and baggages.. imagine that. One of the unforgettable experience. So am a little smarter now, make a habit to set my alarm each time I travel by bus, to & fro Penang, don't want to end up in alien places. See.. Shirley such a piglet, can sleep so soundly in the bus. That shows how tired I am..
Yes, am so tired. Singapore life is never any bed of roses. The biggest challenge for me is to take public transport. Unlike Penang, I can just start my car engine and drive to anywhere & everywhere I like, whereas in Singapore if you want to go from one place to another, first you need to open up your SMART map, or StreetDirectory and check thoroughly which are the nearest MRT or buses, unless you have GPRS.. just like what Victor has. Car considers as one of the luxury in Sg and for those who has none, we depends a lot on Bus 11 (our two legs) and a pair of GOOD shoe - walk and walk and walk, and for me - sweat and sweat and sweat. According to Gavin, you don't need to go any gym to loose weight, the everyday walking will somehow burn the daily calories or fats in you. Huh! So I got to measure my weight before and say 3 months after Sg stay to see how true is that? Celina seems to worry much about me, knowing me as comfy gal & hommy and just so settled in Penang, life in Singapore definitely will be great challenges for me. Don't know how long it takes for me to cope with the life. It's still too early to gauge whether Singapore is the ideal pace to settle down, raise a family etc. Still prefer Penang... But at least 2 years, minimal 2 years to test the ground and see where God lead from here.
So you may asked, then Why? Why you move then? Guess God work in His own ways. Sometimes He just want us to experience some pinch of life to get us learn ONE lesson. And I know I've been complacent, too comfortable and ignorant about things in Penang. Being a mediocre, Singapore will offer a change of my perspective on things in life?? I don't know, whether it is the RIGHT move, but I know that God is into this.. and I am not walking alone, and it is not solely because of Gavin,.. yes he is a big part of the move, but there are other areas which all combined together moved me into such decision, and it is definitely not a haste one. So now that I've decided, am gonna just close my eyes, hold His hands and walk.. whichever turning He leads I will follow, knowing I will not go wrong if I follow the great Shepherd.
This transition somehow opened my eyes to the people I hold dear in my life. Celina mentioned the other day that I am so blessed in Penang because of so many close friends I have, whether church or non-church friends. She said if I am in troubles, I can just picked up the phone, any frens will definitely avail themself to come to assist. Celina is the opposite way, don't have much friends in common here in JB and she's all left alone. Even with the traumatic robbery experience, she was all alone to cope. And that trained her to be strong, and independant and God is her only source of dependant. I am encouraged by her expereinces and I need to learn to be thankful and NOT complain, grumble or murmurs of my 'small' difficulties. Celina has been strong, and I thank God for such a wonderful sister, that always speaking out the truth in love, speaking words of wisdom into my life. I am ashamed, being the elder sister.. I should 'jaga' her more than she 'jaga' me.
I thank God for mum.. yep, eventhough sometimes I can't stand her naggings and there were little arguements here and there, but I am so touched by her love for me. How she prepared me breakfasts and all the meals readily served on the table, how can I take her love for granted? Simple and loving mum.. love to watch TV and play Suduko, and just stay at home, doing the simple things.. she is just so lovable. When I sicked or down, she offered her arms to hug me. I will miss the moment, to quietly kiss her and hug her before sleep.
I thank God for Becky, she is just so available, eventhough she can always say NO to me, but she always want to be there for me whenever I need her, a friend and sister I can count on, and I wish her happiness.. that she will find.. or someday someone WILL FIND HER, someone she loves and someone who loves her so much.
I thank God for Gavin.. the love of my life. He makes me THINK, he makes my mind to open up to more new things in life. He leads us to pray together everynight before we sleep. He inspired me on the 'Meaning and Purpose in Life". I will always love him, and all of him.. Let our jagged imperfection to fit in well, to complement, and to bring out the best in each other.
I thank God for my CG, they are special bunch of people who accept me the way I am. I thank God for my Pharmacy staff, who able to tolerate my style, my boss- who has been so supportive throughout my years working in Gleneagles, who has now been my FB friend =).
I am so blessed by the many things evolved in my life, and am going to treasure the moments as I journey through the different seasons and phases. THANK YOU, everyone of you!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Thunderstorm Thoughts
April 21, 2009
Thunderstorm Thoughts
READ: Matthew 8:23-27
The God of peace will be with you. —Philippians 4:9
12.30am, Ya right am still awake! Has been staying up late most of the days. Still alert now, maybe bcos I drink too much of tea? And it's raining outside, stormy weather huh?... Was very enlighten as I read today's ODB. Am so encouraged, as it's a timely Word He has for us with the current economic turmoils and work pressures, it's so easy for us to loose sight and loose trust of His Omnipotence. Thanks to our wandering mind.. which trying to be in-control. We are just to afraid to loose grip & control of the circumstances and things around us. We are just being insecure, magnifying our problems and drowning into it. Oh man of little Faith, why can't we just stop worrying and jut hold to the anchor- firm, secure, strong and unshakable.. May He be the peace that guard our heart and mind STEADFAST in Him.. READ ON & Be Encouraged!
I’ve heard thunderstorms in my head, and maybe you have too. It happens when a tragedy occurs—to us, to someone close to us, or to someone we hear about in the news. Our minds become a tempest of “what if” questions. We focus on all the possible bad outcomes. Our fear, worry, and trust in God fluctuate as we wait, we pray, we grieve, and we wonder what the Lord will do. It’s natural for us to be fearful in a storm (literal or figurative). The disciples had Jesus right there in the boat with them, yet they were afraid (Matt. 8:23-27). He used the calming of the storm as a lesson to show them who He was—a powerful God who also cares for them.
We wish that Jesus would always calm the storms of our life as He calmed the storm for the disciples that day. But we can find moments of peace when we’re anchored to the truth that He’s in the boat with us and He cares. — Anne Cetas
Fierce drives the storm, but wind and waves
To realize the worth of the anchor, we need to feel the stress of the storm.
Thunderstorm Thoughts
READ: Matthew 8:23-27
The God of peace will be with you. —Philippians 4:9
12.30am, Ya right am still awake! Has been staying up late most of the days. Still alert now, maybe bcos I drink too much of tea? And it's raining outside, stormy weather huh?... Was very enlighten as I read today's ODB. Am so encouraged, as it's a timely Word He has for us with the current economic turmoils and work pressures, it's so easy for us to loose sight and loose trust of His Omnipotence. Thanks to our wandering mind.. which trying to be in-control. We are just to afraid to loose grip & control of the circumstances and things around us. We are just being insecure, magnifying our problems and drowning into it. Oh man of little Faith, why can't we just stop worrying and jut hold to the anchor- firm, secure, strong and unshakable.. May He be the peace that guard our heart and mind STEADFAST in Him.. READ ON & Be Encouraged!
~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~
I’ve heard thunderstorms in my head, and maybe you have too. It happens when a tragedy occurs—to us, to someone close to us, or to someone we hear about in the news. Our minds become a tempest of “what if” questions. We focus on all the possible bad outcomes. Our fear, worry, and trust in God fluctuate as we wait, we pray, we grieve, and we wonder what the Lord will do. It’s natural for us to be fearful in a storm (literal or figurative). The disciples had Jesus right there in the boat with them, yet they were afraid (Matt. 8:23-27). He used the calming of the storm as a lesson to show them who He was—a powerful God who also cares for them.
We wish that Jesus would always calm the storms of our life as He calmed the storm for the disciples that day. But we can find moments of peace when we’re anchored to the truth that He’s in the boat with us and He cares. — Anne Cetas
Fierce drives the storm, but wind and waves
Within His hand are held,
And trusting His omnipotence
My fears are sweetly quelled. —Brown
To realize the worth of the anchor, we need to feel the stress of the storm.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
No turning back, No turning back
16th April 2009,
11.40pm, Thursday night. Am sitting in the living room, have the sudden urge to scrabble something on my blog before I go to sleep. Was thinking what should be the title of my blog today? Been 3 months since my last blog, and as I read it through and through, wow.. can't believe there are so many changes & decisions that have been finalised. So I gonna put it as: "No Turning Back, No Turning Back". I remember we usually sing this song during baptism service; my baptism in FGC and also EPCC baptism.. we will sing this song after someone immersed in and out of the pool or beach. " I have decided, to follow Jesus (3x). No turning back, no turning back".
Same sentiment here, I have decided to venture with Jesus, into the land full of lions, a place of adventures, something unknown, everthing new... Regardless, I will not look back, but only to look forward. I thank God for His guidance in bringing me to such decision. I truly believe that this decision is never my own, because I know that from the start I've put it down His feet.. His Will be done, His Will be done. I praise Him and thank Him, as I reflected back how far He has lead me. Things were just arranged in such timely manner and in His time, Yes i His Time... He made everything beautiful in His time. I refuse to fred or be anxious, for I know He holds me close to His heart, and He will never ever leave me alone ithis race that I run. I have a dream, for the road that I am about to venture.. It may be a long.. Yea, the road may be long and unending, probably winding and full of challenges, yet my heart trusted in Him, I shall have no fear.
My last day in Gleneagles is 16th May, but may plan to leave 3 days earlier which means 13th May. Have not prepare anything. I have a whole long list of what required to do before leaving Pg, and I have only a month to go.. Got to start going, start to entangle one by one. I gonna miss a lot of things... esp. Mum. I still have such burden. Each time people talk about me leaving Penang, the first question they will popped out: How about your mum? And I overheard mum talking to Aunty just a while ago, I can sense her 'loneliness' if I leave. Say I selfish or whatsoever, I really wish Celina able to make it back to Penang. I really wish she can get the Danone job. But I know she is not so keen, maybe she feels it's not the right time.. I don't know. God know the best for us, I can't put Him in a box, or get Him to fulfill my selfish wish-list, but I want to trust Him.. if we asked for bread, will He ever gives us stone.. He who provides for the birds of the air and the lilies on the field will He not give us His best?... How can we doubt on His provision? His will be done.. and am gonna spread my wings and fly, and fly and fly.. and to soar on Eagles' wings, to see the other side of the world. And continue to trust that He is with me forever...
11.40pm, Thursday night. Am sitting in the living room, have the sudden urge to scrabble something on my blog before I go to sleep. Was thinking what should be the title of my blog today? Been 3 months since my last blog, and as I read it through and through, wow.. can't believe there are so many changes & decisions that have been finalised. So I gonna put it as: "No Turning Back, No Turning Back". I remember we usually sing this song during baptism service; my baptism in FGC and also EPCC baptism.. we will sing this song after someone immersed in and out of the pool or beach. " I have decided, to follow Jesus (3x). No turning back, no turning back".
Same sentiment here, I have decided to venture with Jesus, into the land full of lions, a place of adventures, something unknown, everthing new... Regardless, I will not look back, but only to look forward. I thank God for His guidance in bringing me to such decision. I truly believe that this decision is never my own, because I know that from the start I've put it down His feet.. His Will be done, His Will be done. I praise Him and thank Him, as I reflected back how far He has lead me. Things were just arranged in such timely manner and in His time, Yes i His Time... He made everything beautiful in His time. I refuse to fred or be anxious, for I know He holds me close to His heart, and He will never ever leave me alone ithis race that I run. I have a dream, for the road that I am about to venture.. It may be a long.. Yea, the road may be long and unending, probably winding and full of challenges, yet my heart trusted in Him, I shall have no fear.
My last day in Gleneagles is 16th May, but may plan to leave 3 days earlier which means 13th May. Have not prepare anything. I have a whole long list of what required to do before leaving Pg, and I have only a month to go.. Got to start going, start to entangle one by one. I gonna miss a lot of things... esp. Mum. I still have such burden. Each time people talk about me leaving Penang, the first question they will popped out: How about your mum? And I overheard mum talking to Aunty just a while ago, I can sense her 'loneliness' if I leave. Say I selfish or whatsoever, I really wish Celina able to make it back to Penang. I really wish she can get the Danone job. But I know she is not so keen, maybe she feels it's not the right time.. I don't know. God know the best for us, I can't put Him in a box, or get Him to fulfill my selfish wish-list, but I want to trust Him.. if we asked for bread, will He ever gives us stone.. He who provides for the birds of the air and the lilies on the field will He not give us His best?... How can we doubt on His provision? His will be done.. and am gonna spread my wings and fly, and fly and fly.. and to soar on Eagles' wings, to see the other side of the world. And continue to trust that He is with me forever...
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Faith of a Little Child
20th January 2009
11.30pm, home. Browsing through few Pharmacy sites that offer CME courses. Realise that my Pharmacopherapy knowledge has seems to dip down a lot. Been in administration and management for a while, less touching on clinical side. Ya, guess it's time for me to brush up my knowledge, which wil definitely be useful in the near future.
Celina called a while ago, sharing on the company's bonus, less than last year. And I just got my RM200 CNY angpow from GMC today. Even though it's RM200 lesser than last year, at least something better than nothing. The global recession really hitting hard on every industries and healthcare is not exception. Not too sure if government hospital is affected, but definitely private can see a significant lower volume. Scary to think of it.. working real hard in 2008 for JCI and MSQH preparation but just because of economic downturn company using such excuses to cut increment, bonuses and no need to mention about performance incentives lar. Am still hoping though.. maybe I should go and ask tomorrow.. but whatever the result, gonna accept it and move on. Need to learn to be thankful, not only in good times, but also in bad times.
Read today's ODB,
James tells us that when we ask God for wisdom, the key to His response is whether or not we are asking “in faith” (1:6). God is pleased when we approach Him with unwavering faith. So leave your doubt at the door and follow the protocol: Approach God with a heart of faith, and He will be pleased to provide all the wisdom you need.
Yes, am kinda weary of what the future holds.. 2009 will definitely be a challenging year. A year filled with loads of CHANGES, and CHALLENGES and COMMITTMENTS. Am I ready for that? Am I just looking at the surface and hearing my own voice, or God's voice? I need the wisdom, more wisdom and dicerment to make decision,.. I don't wanna make decision of my own, I want to include Him in this decision, and trust Him.. ya, faith like a little child. Am not sure whether am gonna make it, but Daddy is holding my hands in this race that I run... And I am not running alone. Gonna have faith like a little child.
God, give me the faith of a little child! A faith that will look to Thee—That never will falter and never fail, But follow Thee trustingly. —Showerman
11.30pm, home. Browsing through few Pharmacy sites that offer CME courses. Realise that my Pharmacopherapy knowledge has seems to dip down a lot. Been in administration and management for a while, less touching on clinical side. Ya, guess it's time for me to brush up my knowledge, which wil definitely be useful in the near future.
Celina called a while ago, sharing on the company's bonus, less than last year. And I just got my RM200 CNY angpow from GMC today. Even though it's RM200 lesser than last year, at least something better than nothing. The global recession really hitting hard on every industries and healthcare is not exception. Not too sure if government hospital is affected, but definitely private can see a significant lower volume. Scary to think of it.. working real hard in 2008 for JCI and MSQH preparation but just because of economic downturn company using such excuses to cut increment, bonuses and no need to mention about performance incentives lar. Am still hoping though.. maybe I should go and ask tomorrow.. but whatever the result, gonna accept it and move on. Need to learn to be thankful, not only in good times, but also in bad times.
Read today's ODB,
James tells us that when we ask God for wisdom, the key to His response is whether or not we are asking “in faith” (1:6). God is pleased when we approach Him with unwavering faith. So leave your doubt at the door and follow the protocol: Approach God with a heart of faith, and He will be pleased to provide all the wisdom you need.
Yes, am kinda weary of what the future holds.. 2009 will definitely be a challenging year. A year filled with loads of CHANGES, and CHALLENGES and COMMITTMENTS. Am I ready for that? Am I just looking at the surface and hearing my own voice, or God's voice? I need the wisdom, more wisdom and dicerment to make decision,.. I don't wanna make decision of my own, I want to include Him in this decision, and trust Him.. ya, faith like a little child. Am not sure whether am gonna make it, but Daddy is holding my hands in this race that I run... And I am not running alone. Gonna have faith like a little child.
God, give me the faith of a little child! A faith that will look to Thee—That never will falter and never fail, But follow Thee trustingly. —Showerman
Sunday, January 11, 2009
The Invasion of Vision...
11st January 2009,
10pm, am sitting in the living room, on my couch with my headphone (yes, I look like receptionst, you should see how I look now). Am listening to my favourite Avalon album. Laptop on my lap.. while typing & blogging as the music plays. Trying to come back to my normal blogging habits which I used to love doing in my freetime. Now that I have unlimited internet assess at home, other than downloading stuff, facebook, chatting & surfing.. ya now I should continue to blog, to learn to express again, to learn to open up my heart in words again.
Yes, today's sermon is good. The sermon title is "Invasion on Vision".. Persevering our passion and vision. (Ezra 4:1-24). Briefly talking on the people of God, Judah and Benjamin, who builds a temple (the house of God), and how they persevere through the many attacks and invasion of the enemy that trying to stop their plan. There are 3 attacks of the enemy that we can learn from the passage in Ezra. (1) Compromising, (2) Confusion- mind attack and (3) Legistration (governance and law), which can hinder us from persuing our vision. As for me, I can identify on the first two. With the current cyber world, you can assess any informations with a fingertip into the internet.. the worldly approach, wordly system and scheme that easily entice us, into many different kind of temptations. Yes, I can be a cyber-addict.. I can just sit down on the computer and close myself from other fellowship, just spending time with computer, how unhealthy. Sometimes when I get back from the office, I'll straight go to my laptop, without even talking to mum. This must be stopped!... That is the reason I refused to put up internet connection at home for so long. But now, I just need to learn to practise self-control.
As for aligning with the vision of the church, I know I've not been passionate as I used to be. I wonder will every 'old' Christian experience such different stages? How do you evaluate whether you are 'passionate'? Serving actively in church, reading Bible more, or praying more? It's all about choices, that's what Becky said... no one can judge or gauge on the level of passion. It's you alone to judge it yourself. It's your RELATIONSHIP with God, how much you falling in love with Him, that determine your passion? I must admit I don't do my devotion consistently, sometimes I don't talk to Him, it's shameful to speak, we can read our lover letters/smses time after time and never get bored with it, what more the Word of God! Attack no (2), on the mind... creating confusion... oh how many times I've been so negative on so many things?...
A Christian can experienced so much of the attacks and difficulties, what more those who don't even know Jesus. I should be thankful, at least Daddy is always there guiding us through. And we have the Words of the Living God, but are we utilising it?
10pm, am sitting in the living room, on my couch with my headphone (yes, I look like receptionst, you should see how I look now). Am listening to my favourite Avalon album. Laptop on my lap.. while typing & blogging as the music plays. Trying to come back to my normal blogging habits which I used to love doing in my freetime. Now that I have unlimited internet assess at home, other than downloading stuff, facebook, chatting & surfing.. ya now I should continue to blog, to learn to express again, to learn to open up my heart in words again.
Yes, today's sermon is good. The sermon title is "Invasion on Vision".. Persevering our passion and vision. (Ezra 4:1-24). Briefly talking on the people of God, Judah and Benjamin, who builds a temple (the house of God), and how they persevere through the many attacks and invasion of the enemy that trying to stop their plan. There are 3 attacks of the enemy that we can learn from the passage in Ezra. (1) Compromising, (2) Confusion- mind attack and (3) Legistration (governance and law), which can hinder us from persuing our vision. As for me, I can identify on the first two. With the current cyber world, you can assess any informations with a fingertip into the internet.. the worldly approach, wordly system and scheme that easily entice us, into many different kind of temptations. Yes, I can be a cyber-addict.. I can just sit down on the computer and close myself from other fellowship, just spending time with computer, how unhealthy. Sometimes when I get back from the office, I'll straight go to my laptop, without even talking to mum. This must be stopped!... That is the reason I refused to put up internet connection at home for so long. But now, I just need to learn to practise self-control.
As for aligning with the vision of the church, I know I've not been passionate as I used to be. I wonder will every 'old' Christian experience such different stages? How do you evaluate whether you are 'passionate'? Serving actively in church, reading Bible more, or praying more? It's all about choices, that's what Becky said... no one can judge or gauge on the level of passion. It's you alone to judge it yourself. It's your RELATIONSHIP with God, how much you falling in love with Him, that determine your passion? I must admit I don't do my devotion consistently, sometimes I don't talk to Him, it's shameful to speak, we can read our lover letters/smses time after time and never get bored with it, what more the Word of God! Attack no (2), on the mind... creating confusion... oh how many times I've been so negative on so many things?...
A Christian can experienced so much of the attacks and difficulties, what more those who don't even know Jesus. I should be thankful, at least Daddy is always there guiding us through. And we have the Words of the Living God, but are we utilising it?
Thursday, January 08, 2009
2009 - A Year of Restructuring
8th January 2009,
11.40pm, Thursday night. This is my first blog entry in 2009. Went to Media Meeting just now, SC shared on "Restructing our Love" for the second time. Am touched again. EPCC theme for this year is A Year of Restructuring - to start with restructuring our love first. The theme is so relevant to us - LOVE is the core of all, the foundation of our faith and action.
I quoted part of the message from Pastor Sam:
"We praise God for a good number of people already active in serving. But we are looking further into just serving in the church ministries. We are looking ito creating a culture of healthy serving and caring of church members. We want ours church members who care ad bear with each other's needs ad develop not only skill to serve but also HEART to LOVE and HONOUR one another...."
Am evaluating myself, my heart. Am I truly firm and secure in love, at least first being secure in Him. I guess maybe I am lacking of that foundation.. and easily swayed around with circumstances and temptation. It's time, it's time.. to restructure my heart, my LOVE for Him, my passions and vision. FOCUS Shirley, stayed FOCUS!!... Be firmly rooted. I was reminded again and again of Hebs,.. Let us throw off everthing that hinders and sin that so easily entangles... RUN, Perseveres on the race set for us. FIX our eyes in Him.. It's abou actions, choices, initiatives... Do it Shirley... Don't give up! Come back from your detour, Come back!
Hebrews 12:1
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
I always thank God for bringng so many wonderful people crossing my path. Godly man and women, they are so ever encouraging, set examples of Godly leadership. My thousands thanks to Becky (not only my CGL but my closest friend in EPCC), Ps Mei (powerful Words, always point us to Christ), Tze Han (humble, simple but great leader)& Celina (eventhough she's younger than me, but spiritually she's like a che che to me...shame on Shirley eh?):PP I need to stop sitting on the fence, but to come down and just do it! Just do it!
Heb12:12 Therefore... strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed.
2009- I WANT to renew my love for Him, and renew my spiritual vitality... for His service! But first.. RESTRUCTURING of my LOVE.
11.40pm, Thursday night. This is my first blog entry in 2009. Went to Media Meeting just now, SC shared on "Restructing our Love" for the second time. Am touched again. EPCC theme for this year is A Year of Restructuring - to start with restructuring our love first. The theme is so relevant to us - LOVE is the core of all, the foundation of our faith and action.
I quoted part of the message from Pastor Sam:
"We praise God for a good number of people already active in serving. But we are looking further into just serving in the church ministries. We are looking ito creating a culture of healthy serving and caring of church members. We want ours church members who care ad bear with each other's needs ad develop not only skill to serve but also HEART to LOVE and HONOUR one another...."
Am evaluating myself, my heart. Am I truly firm and secure in love, at least first being secure in Him. I guess maybe I am lacking of that foundation.. and easily swayed around with circumstances and temptation. It's time, it's time.. to restructure my heart, my LOVE for Him, my passions and vision. FOCUS Shirley, stayed FOCUS!!... Be firmly rooted. I was reminded again and again of Hebs,.. Let us throw off everthing that hinders and sin that so easily entangles... RUN, Perseveres on the race set for us. FIX our eyes in Him.. It's abou actions, choices, initiatives... Do it Shirley... Don't give up! Come back from your detour, Come back!
Hebrews 12:1
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
I always thank God for bringng so many wonderful people crossing my path. Godly man and women, they are so ever encouraging, set examples of Godly leadership. My thousands thanks to Becky (not only my CGL but my closest friend in EPCC), Ps Mei (powerful Words, always point us to Christ), Tze Han (humble, simple but great leader)& Celina (eventhough she's younger than me, but spiritually she's like a che che to me...shame on Shirley eh?):PP I need to stop sitting on the fence, but to come down and just do it! Just do it!
Heb12:12 Therefore... strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed.
2009- I WANT to renew my love for Him, and renew my spiritual vitality... for His service! But first.. RESTRUCTURING of my LOVE.
Monday, December 01, 2008
Finding Joy
1st December 2008,
4.30pm Monday. It's Moody Monday for me. Maybe wake up wrong side of the bed, bad dreams last night, plus not enough of sleep, plus with my left deaf ear giving me much problems. Right eyes swollen. Oh, what's wrong with me, what's wrong?.. It's hard to imagine life be without sounds, without sights. Need to catch the momentum of persuing life, living life to the fullest. Learn to learn to journey on, need to learn to talk more.. need to learn to express.
Life can be complicated, but happiness is really pretty simple.
Here's some of the Inspirational Quotes that cheered up my Monday:
The heart that gives, gathers - Marianne Moore
Change your thoughts and change your world - Norman Vincent Peale
If you don't stand for something, you will fall for nothing.
Burn brightly without buring out - Richard Biggs
Nothing happens, but first a dream - Carl Sandburg
It is one of the most compensations in life... that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sometimes in the winds of change we find our true direction.
Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow - Norman Vincent Peale
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying..
"I will try again tomorrow." - Mary Anne Radmacher
Laughter is an instant vacation. - Milton Berle
The best sermons are lived, not preached. - Cowboy Wisdom
The only things that stand between a person and what they want in life are the will to try it,
and the faith to believe it's possible - Rich Devos
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things - Robert Brault
It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny - Jean Nidetch
To love and to be loved is to feel the sun from both sides - David Viscott
Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows - Helen Keller
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless - Mother Teresa
Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there - Will Rogers
Joy is a light that fills you with Hope, Faith and Love.
4.30pm Monday. It's Moody Monday for me. Maybe wake up wrong side of the bed, bad dreams last night, plus not enough of sleep, plus with my left deaf ear giving me much problems. Right eyes swollen. Oh, what's wrong with me, what's wrong?.. It's hard to imagine life be without sounds, without sights. Need to catch the momentum of persuing life, living life to the fullest. Learn to learn to journey on, need to learn to talk more.. need to learn to express.
Life can be complicated, but happiness is really pretty simple.
Here's some of the Inspirational Quotes that cheered up my Monday:
The heart that gives, gathers - Marianne Moore
Change your thoughts and change your world - Norman Vincent Peale
If you don't stand for something, you will fall for nothing.
Burn brightly without buring out - Richard Biggs
Nothing happens, but first a dream - Carl Sandburg
It is one of the most compensations in life... that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sometimes in the winds of change we find our true direction.
Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow - Norman Vincent Peale
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying..
"I will try again tomorrow." - Mary Anne Radmacher
Laughter is an instant vacation. - Milton Berle
The best sermons are lived, not preached. - Cowboy Wisdom
The only things that stand between a person and what they want in life are the will to try it,
and the faith to believe it's possible - Rich Devos
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things - Robert Brault
It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny - Jean Nidetch
To love and to be loved is to feel the sun from both sides - David Viscott
Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows - Helen Keller
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless - Mother Teresa
Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there - Will Rogers
Joy is a light that fills you with Hope, Faith and Love.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Ready for a Change?
24th November 2008,
5.00pm, Monday great. Yeah.. am blogging from my desk, been a while since my last blog in the office. Today's good, slow and steady. Patient load reducing, good and bad news. Good news because can relax a bit and take things slower. Bad news - with the economic turmoils, low volume means company not making money, means low bonus, less benefit or maybe retrenchment? But hospital not so much affected, don't think we will retrench hospital staff. Company are taking every form of cost containment measures in this bad time. Question asked, am I affected? Hmm.. good question. Guess everyone's affected, the difference is the intensity of the impact to us.
"Change, change.. change". Keep hearing this word, right from March 8th election till now. Am I ready for a change in my life? I've been contemplating on this for long.. maybe it's time for me to put it into action? Moving through the stages of change requires effort and energy for thinking, planning and doing.
(Proachaska and DiClemente Model)
Which stage am I now? In between contemplating and determination? Maybe yeah, praying that I can have the determination to change and put it into action and move along, not turning back? Or maybe I am in preparation time.. to equip myself for new challenges ahead? But whatever it is, am gonna have faith on Him, and journey on with Him!
5.00pm, Monday great. Yeah.. am blogging from my desk, been a while since my last blog in the office. Today's good, slow and steady. Patient load reducing, good and bad news. Good news because can relax a bit and take things slower. Bad news - with the economic turmoils, low volume means company not making money, means low bonus, less benefit or maybe retrenchment? But hospital not so much affected, don't think we will retrench hospital staff. Company are taking every form of cost containment measures in this bad time. Question asked, am I affected? Hmm.. good question. Guess everyone's affected, the difference is the intensity of the impact to us.
"Change, change.. change". Keep hearing this word, right from March 8th election till now. Am I ready for a change in my life? I've been contemplating on this for long.. maybe it's time for me to put it into action? Moving through the stages of change requires effort and energy for thinking, planning and doing.
(Proachaska and DiClemente Model)
Which stage am I now? In between contemplating and determination? Maybe yeah, praying that I can have the determination to change and put it into action and move along, not turning back? Or maybe I am in preparation time.. to equip myself for new challenges ahead? But whatever it is, am gonna have faith on Him, and journey on with Him!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
From the North to the South...
16th September 2008,
2.30pm Tuesday. Yeap yeap, am on leave today. On leave since last Saturday but will be back this Wed (tomorrow) *cries* Am blogging from Celina's desk, the line is lagging, regardless am happy at least I can keep myself occupied while she's working. Mum's doing Sudoku, hehehe.. she's pretty contented staying at home, helping sis doing house chores, tidy up the room, and with her Sudoku, she can just sit whole day just to complete the mission. Myself, okay not too bad, at least it's free time, away from work, away from Penang, taking things slowly and relaxing, spending time with family and love ones- worth the trip.
It's Sept and my last blog was in March. Never knew I've been overly occupied lately. Wish I have more time, or maybe I should make time instead of always complaining not enough time? WK has been back from Maternity Leave since Aug and I've passed over CDR to her, so it free me up to be more focus on the other areas of inconsistency. Yet dunno why I still feel not enough time, it's like so many things to do, and have no ending to my work? it's like accumulate and once you've settled one task, 5 more are awaiting your attention? Oh, probably it's just part and pacel of work life- Job will never ending as long as you're employed. Just need to learn to balance my life, to really search what interest me most and go for it.
Ya, I've been with RDA for almost half year? RDA stands for Horse Riding for Disable Association, it's one of the NGO and self-funded. Am finding joy to just be a side walker, helping the disable kids to mount up the horse, playing games with them while riding.. and it's nice, an eye opener for me seeing life thru' this little wonderful kids. They're just so special, and life is just more than what meet the eyes. It's our perspective, it's the way we live.. it's the journey on without regrets, to live life to the fullest, as a gift from God. Am reading thru' my blogs, and discover am such a negative person. I don't wanna be a complainer, I wanna change on that.. to be positive, to smile at the rain, to always give thanks and praise to Him in whatever circumstances.
Lord helps me when I am in doubt, let me to fall in love with You again and again, and nothing will take away Your love from me. Help me in my detour, draw me back to You each time am about to fail. Guide me with Your Spirit that I will hear and obey..
I love this song, it's playing again and again in me, reminding me of my Creator, how He has formed me in my mothers womb, and knew me and loves me as I am...
Creator King, by Don Moen
You, Who made the mountains and the sea
Measured out the universe and you make me
Echoes of the voice that called the worlds to
throughout the ages and now speak to me
You're my Creator King
You, Who made the valleys and the skies
Displayed Your love on far horizons and before my eyes
You, Who lit the stars and set the dawn in time
Called them all by name and now whisper mine
You're my Creator King
Chorus:
Who am I that You are mindful of me
Who am I that You sent Your love on me
You're my Creator King
You, Who made the darkness and the light
Sun and Moon to watch the day and guard the night
The hand that stretched the heavens like a canopy
Reaches down to cover and watch over me
You're my Creator King
2.30pm Tuesday. Yeap yeap, am on leave today. On leave since last Saturday but will be back this Wed (tomorrow) *cries* Am blogging from Celina's desk, the line is lagging, regardless am happy at least I can keep myself occupied while she's working. Mum's doing Sudoku, hehehe.. she's pretty contented staying at home, helping sis doing house chores, tidy up the room, and with her Sudoku, she can just sit whole day just to complete the mission. Myself, okay not too bad, at least it's free time, away from work, away from Penang, taking things slowly and relaxing, spending time with family and love ones- worth the trip.
It's Sept and my last blog was in March. Never knew I've been overly occupied lately. Wish I have more time, or maybe I should make time instead of always complaining not enough time? WK has been back from Maternity Leave since Aug and I've passed over CDR to her, so it free me up to be more focus on the other areas of inconsistency. Yet dunno why I still feel not enough time, it's like so many things to do, and have no ending to my work? it's like accumulate and once you've settled one task, 5 more are awaiting your attention? Oh, probably it's just part and pacel of work life- Job will never ending as long as you're employed. Just need to learn to balance my life, to really search what interest me most and go for it.
Ya, I've been with RDA for almost half year? RDA stands for Horse Riding for Disable Association, it's one of the NGO and self-funded. Am finding joy to just be a side walker, helping the disable kids to mount up the horse, playing games with them while riding.. and it's nice, an eye opener for me seeing life thru' this little wonderful kids. They're just so special, and life is just more than what meet the eyes. It's our perspective, it's the way we live.. it's the journey on without regrets, to live life to the fullest, as a gift from God. Am reading thru' my blogs, and discover am such a negative person. I don't wanna be a complainer, I wanna change on that.. to be positive, to smile at the rain, to always give thanks and praise to Him in whatever circumstances.
Lord helps me when I am in doubt, let me to fall in love with You again and again, and nothing will take away Your love from me. Help me in my detour, draw me back to You each time am about to fail. Guide me with Your Spirit that I will hear and obey..
I love this song, it's playing again and again in me, reminding me of my Creator, how He has formed me in my mothers womb, and knew me and loves me as I am...
Creator King, by Don Moen
You, Who made the mountains and the sea
Measured out the universe and you make me
Echoes of the voice that called the worlds to
throughout the ages and now speak to me
You're my Creator King
You, Who made the valleys and the skies
Displayed Your love on far horizons and before my eyes
You, Who lit the stars and set the dawn in time
Called them all by name and now whisper mine
You're my Creator King
Chorus:
Who am I that You are mindful of me
Who am I that You sent Your love on me
You're my Creator King
You, Who made the darkness and the light
Sun and Moon to watch the day and guard the night
The hand that stretched the heavens like a canopy
Reaches down to cover and watch over me
You're my Creator King
Monday, March 17, 2008
Busy Days Ahead
17th March 2008,
It's a tiring Monday, just like what Gavin used to describe, being run down by a truck. Yeah whole body muscle aching and feel so lethagic, as if not been sleeping for days. I missed my bed so much, wanna just stop thinking anything, blanko my head and go into deep deep sedation.
Has been a while didn't update my blog. Looking through previous blogs, I guess I should have at least post one blog a month. It's March and April's coming soon. Time flies...again, am using the same words- TIME FLIES, Time SPEED! So what's the happenings on me? Any updates? I guess if you were to ask my church friends, they'll tell you Shirley has been MIA for a while, MIA= Missing In Action. Yeah, has not been attending Sunday service for 2 consecutive weeks. Went to Ipoh first week of March, went back hometown to vote on second week and last week, also went to Ipoh. Hmm.. has been traveling lots. Tiring, definitely but it's worth the travels :P but I also missed Pr. Sam's sermon. Hmm.. yeah, I hate the feeling of neither here nor there..as if I am hanging on the air..floating around. I wish sister to come back Penang soon, but for me to demand her to come back it's will be a selfish act. I can only trust God's timing. But if she comes back, will it be easy for me to decide on the next course? Mum made some remarks last night. She said I'm so undecided to relocate because am not willing to give up my job, not really because of 'her'. Feel a little disappointed of the remarks. Definitely it'll not be easy for me to 'give up' my current job. But if it's God's will, He will make a new openings for me, won't He?
Life has been tiring and busy. Usually I won'y find such time to sit down and do blogging, will be either at CDR Unit, or back in my room doing all the documentation and PP review, preparing for Sept audits. Oh I hate audits, all the standards and paperwork, it slows me down. Didn't even have time to communicate well with staff. WK going for Maternity leaves soon, and I need to be prepared for the worse scenario if I couldn't get any replacement. Crying deep inside how to overcome this.
This week sermon was good. Both Fernando's sharing and Ps. Timothy's sermon touching on the similar thing, about PASSION. Yes and as I evaluating myself, I realise I've not been passionate as I have been before. Is it due to the things around me? Work matters? Lack of fellowship with Christian, lack of involvement in church? Or stale devotional time?.. Where is my passion? And how to rekindle passion? Where's my talent? I need to rediscover my talent and use it, else it will be taken back from me..
It's a tiring Monday, just like what Gavin used to describe, being run down by a truck. Yeah whole body muscle aching and feel so lethagic, as if not been sleeping for days. I missed my bed so much, wanna just stop thinking anything, blanko my head and go into deep deep sedation.
Has been a while didn't update my blog. Looking through previous blogs, I guess I should have at least post one blog a month. It's March and April's coming soon. Time flies...again, am using the same words- TIME FLIES, Time SPEED! So what's the happenings on me? Any updates? I guess if you were to ask my church friends, they'll tell you Shirley has been MIA for a while, MIA= Missing In Action. Yeah, has not been attending Sunday service for 2 consecutive weeks. Went to Ipoh first week of March, went back hometown to vote on second week and last week, also went to Ipoh. Hmm.. has been traveling lots. Tiring, definitely but it's worth the travels :P but I also missed Pr. Sam's sermon. Hmm.. yeah, I hate the feeling of neither here nor there..as if I am hanging on the air..floating around. I wish sister to come back Penang soon, but for me to demand her to come back it's will be a selfish act. I can only trust God's timing. But if she comes back, will it be easy for me to decide on the next course? Mum made some remarks last night. She said I'm so undecided to relocate because am not willing to give up my job, not really because of 'her'. Feel a little disappointed of the remarks. Definitely it'll not be easy for me to 'give up' my current job. But if it's God's will, He will make a new openings for me, won't He?
Life has been tiring and busy. Usually I won'y find such time to sit down and do blogging, will be either at CDR Unit, or back in my room doing all the documentation and PP review, preparing for Sept audits. Oh I hate audits, all the standards and paperwork, it slows me down. Didn't even have time to communicate well with staff. WK going for Maternity leaves soon, and I need to be prepared for the worse scenario if I couldn't get any replacement. Crying deep inside how to overcome this.
This week sermon was good. Both Fernando's sharing and Ps. Timothy's sermon touching on the similar thing, about PASSION. Yes and as I evaluating myself, I realise I've not been passionate as I have been before. Is it due to the things around me? Work matters? Lack of fellowship with Christian, lack of involvement in church? Or stale devotional time?.. Where is my passion? And how to rekindle passion? Where's my talent? I need to rediscover my talent and use it, else it will be taken back from me..
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
What is Next?.. Put on a first step..
5th February 2008,
5.30pm Tuesday. Another day will be CNY, will be working for half day tomorrow, then CNY. This year don't really have much CNY mood, probably as we growing the mood just fading. So this year is no exception, gonna celebrate it with simplicity, a reunion dinner with family, then maybe visit one Aunty in Penang, that's all. Gonna start work 3rd day of CNY, don't wanna waste my leave, only when really necessary else will not take off.
Yeah, has been thinking and reflecting on my lives, and also asking God what's next in my life? Am I reaching a point of making some detour? What is installed for me next? Life has been pretty busy lately.. and time speeding through, many times in my life, I stop and question. Yet it's just a question without any action, always 'see how' yet didn't really take a concrite step of faith? FAITH... ya, this word appears very frequently, through sermon, sharing in church etc. Am thinking, whether such season, is it God is challenging me to put some step of faith, before seeing a breakthrough?... A 'first' step, and God will do the rest? Can I be sure if I put that little first step, God will take care of the rest?.. I need the assurance, am too afraid to make a drastic change. Am I not trusting God enough? He who cares for the lilies on the field, He who knows every single of our hairs, He who willing to give up His Son for us, will He not care for us? Oh Shirley... what a little faith, where is my faith? Just a first small step, just like a little mustard seed, that will move mountain... He has a NEXT plans for me, ONLY if I able to step forward the first step.
5.30pm Tuesday. Another day will be CNY, will be working for half day tomorrow, then CNY. This year don't really have much CNY mood, probably as we growing the mood just fading. So this year is no exception, gonna celebrate it with simplicity, a reunion dinner with family, then maybe visit one Aunty in Penang, that's all. Gonna start work 3rd day of CNY, don't wanna waste my leave, only when really necessary else will not take off.
Yeah, has been thinking and reflecting on my lives, and also asking God what's next in my life? Am I reaching a point of making some detour? What is installed for me next? Life has been pretty busy lately.. and time speeding through, many times in my life, I stop and question. Yet it's just a question without any action, always 'see how' yet didn't really take a concrite step of faith? FAITH... ya, this word appears very frequently, through sermon, sharing in church etc. Am thinking, whether such season, is it God is challenging me to put some step of faith, before seeing a breakthrough?... A 'first' step, and God will do the rest? Can I be sure if I put that little first step, God will take care of the rest?.. I need the assurance, am too afraid to make a drastic change. Am I not trusting God enough? He who cares for the lilies on the field, He who knows every single of our hairs, He who willing to give up His Son for us, will He not care for us? Oh Shirley... what a little faith, where is my faith? Just a first small step, just like a little mustard seed, that will move mountain... He has a NEXT plans for me, ONLY if I able to step forward the first step.
Saturday, January 05, 2008
2008 - A year of New Beginning
19th Jan 2008,
12.30pm Saturday. This is my first blog entry in 2008.. has been very long since my last personal blog. Few times trying to put my thoughts in words, but overly concious to express myself, or to be read by others. So this blog in a way has slowly faded off. Need to revive again..
Read Celina's Blog just now, I can see the similarity in us, even though there are few differences here and there. She perceived me as someone who's confident, strong and independant, or..rather successful. Hmm.. am trying to analyse myself, am I fit such qualities? Or what is my real character? I am fearful and wonderfully made,.. and He knew me and carefully manufactured me even in my mother's womb. Yeah, I am complex and special in His sight. As I see the different people that God has brought in my lives, I keep reflecting myself. One thing I know full well about me, I am a 'man-pleaser'. In a way, I mind how others see and perceive me, and in another way, I don't like people to be unhappy. Sometimes, I can be real ignorant of others feelings, yet overall I am a careful person and more of the accomodative type.
Today's title is about "2008, a year of New Beginning". I am fearful what is installed for me in 2008. Even with a long list of Resolutions made before the New Year, am just wonder..whether all these will come to past, whether each of my resolutions will be met, or I will ever get near any of them. However, I gonna just trust it to His Hands and Care.. man can plans but ultimately He is the One that make it works. Am checking on myself 'spiritually' for the past weeks. Last night CG was good. I thank God for my CG, even tho' it's not as exciting or happening as my previous CG with all the Young Adults, but Shekinah CG has many wonderful people, and 'experienced' people, and 'wise' people. Yeah.. some visitors said we're 'serious' people..ya we are serious in His Words and Works, and I can say I learned a whole lots of wisdom from the Cell. Last night we were sharing about "Facets of Faith" in Isa 54: 1. Faith Response 2. Faith Actions 3. Faith Walk. I am encouraged to hear so many 'faith' expereinces from the members, and am trying hard to think.. ya, when is the last time I am challenged in 'faith'? Or my life has been pretty easy going for the past years? I hope not to see complacency in my walk. Something must be wrong... Am lacking of passion lately. Where is my focus?
A lot of reflections. This year is the year of NEW Beginning? And it's NEVER too late?..Never too late yeah? What is NEXT for me? What should be my next step? Am I willing to be stretched in my faith walk? And to be obedience in following Him? Where is my focus at this moment?.. Work? Family? Church? Relationship?
12.30pm Saturday. This is my first blog entry in 2008.. has been very long since my last personal blog. Few times trying to put my thoughts in words, but overly concious to express myself, or to be read by others. So this blog in a way has slowly faded off. Need to revive again..
Read Celina's Blog just now, I can see the similarity in us, even though there are few differences here and there. She perceived me as someone who's confident, strong and independant, or..rather successful. Hmm.. am trying to analyse myself, am I fit such qualities? Or what is my real character? I am fearful and wonderfully made,.. and He knew me and carefully manufactured me even in my mother's womb. Yeah, I am complex and special in His sight. As I see the different people that God has brought in my lives, I keep reflecting myself. One thing I know full well about me, I am a 'man-pleaser'. In a way, I mind how others see and perceive me, and in another way, I don't like people to be unhappy. Sometimes, I can be real ignorant of others feelings, yet overall I am a careful person and more of the accomodative type.
Today's title is about "2008, a year of New Beginning". I am fearful what is installed for me in 2008. Even with a long list of Resolutions made before the New Year, am just wonder..whether all these will come to past, whether each of my resolutions will be met, or I will ever get near any of them. However, I gonna just trust it to His Hands and Care.. man can plans but ultimately He is the One that make it works. Am checking on myself 'spiritually' for the past weeks. Last night CG was good. I thank God for my CG, even tho' it's not as exciting or happening as my previous CG with all the Young Adults, but Shekinah CG has many wonderful people, and 'experienced' people, and 'wise' people. Yeah.. some visitors said we're 'serious' people..ya we are serious in His Words and Works, and I can say I learned a whole lots of wisdom from the Cell. Last night we were sharing about "Facets of Faith" in Isa 54: 1. Faith Response 2. Faith Actions 3. Faith Walk. I am encouraged to hear so many 'faith' expereinces from the members, and am trying hard to think.. ya, when is the last time I am challenged in 'faith'? Or my life has been pretty easy going for the past years? I hope not to see complacency in my walk. Something must be wrong... Am lacking of passion lately. Where is my focus?
A lot of reflections. This year is the year of NEW Beginning? And it's NEVER too late?..Never too late yeah? What is NEXT for me? What should be my next step? Am I willing to be stretched in my faith walk? And to be obedience in following Him? Where is my focus at this moment?.. Work? Family? Church? Relationship?
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Have You Asked God about It?
The men of Israel looked them over and accepted the evidence. But they didn't ask God about it. Joshua 9:14
It's hard to remain humble when you've just walked through the Red Sea without getting wet, and conquered Jericho , the biggest city in the Promised Land. Over-confidence can be deadly! Flushed with victory the Israelites thought they didn't need to consult God or listen to what He had to say concerning their next move. It's quite a story. The crafty Gibeonites realised they couldn't win against God's people so they sent out a team of negotiators to make peace with them. And it worked! Even though they were lying, Joshua presumed they were telling the truth and signed a peace treaty. It was one of the biggest mistakes of his life! From that day on the Gibeonites were a constant thorn in Israel 's side. Joshua lived to regret that he "didn't ask God about it." Fanny Crosby, the blind songwriter, wrote: "O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear. All because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer!"
It's frightening how easily we move from relying on God to relying on ourselves, or trusting in a method because it worked in the past, or doing what everybody else is doing. Hearing from God for yourself is what gives you the edge; leaving Him out is what gets you into trouble.
If you have a tendency to move too quickly or to operate in your own strength and skill, pray for a red light in your Spirit. Ask God to let you know when you're moving in your own will rather than in His. It'll save you untold heartache!
Monday, December 17, 2007
How to Pray When You are Worried
Are you worried today? Have you lost your peace of mind? Begin to pray this prayer until it takes root in your heart and becomes your fixed attitude:
"Father, You told me not to be afraid because You are with me, You will uphold me, and those who come against me will not succeed. You said no evil would come upon me, nor any plague touch my home for You have ordered Your angels to protect me. Psalm 91:10-11 You said when I walk through rivers of difficulty (when I'm 'in over my head') You won't let me drown, and when I walk through fires of adversity (when 'the heat is on') You won't allow me to get burned for You are watching over me.
You said no weapon formed against me shall prosper. I cannot keep the enemy's weapons from being formed, but I know You will keep them from prospering. You said if I ask anything according to Your will, You would grant my request.
You said when I walk in obedience before You I will be blessed when I come in and blessed when I go out, blessed when I lie down and blessed when I get up. Deuteronomy 28:6
You told me to give all my troubles to You and You would take care of me. 1 Peter 5:7
So here they are! Today I'm standing on Your Word. You said it! I believe it! That settles it! Amen."
"Father, You told me not to be afraid because You are with me, You will uphold me, and those who come against me will not succeed. You said no evil would come upon me, nor any plague touch my home for You have ordered Your angels to protect me. Psalm 91:10-11 You said when I walk through rivers of difficulty (when I'm 'in over my head') You won't let me drown, and when I walk through fires of adversity (when 'the heat is on') You won't allow me to get burned for You are watching over me.
You said no weapon formed against me shall prosper. I cannot keep the enemy's weapons from being formed, but I know You will keep them from prospering. You said if I ask anything according to Your will, You would grant my request.
You said when I walk in obedience before You I will be blessed when I come in and blessed when I go out, blessed when I lie down and blessed when I get up. Deuteronomy 28:6
You told me to give all my troubles to You and You would take care of me. 1 Peter 5:7
So here they are! Today I'm standing on Your Word. You said it! I believe it! That settles it! Amen."
Friday, November 02, 2007
Shirley's Johari Window
Arena(known to self and others) accepting, helpful, independent, modest, self-conscious, shy | Blind Spot(known only to others) able, adaptable, bold, brave, calm, caring, cheerful, clever, complex, confident, dependable, friendly, giving, happy, idealistic, intelligent, kind, knowledgeable, logical, loving, mature, nervous, observant, organised, patient, quiet, reflective, relaxed, religious, responsive, searching, self-assertive, sentimental, silly, spontaneous, sympathetic, trustworthy, warm, wise, witty |
Façade(known only to self) | Unknown(known to nobody) dignified, energetic, extroverted, ingenious, introverted, powerful, proud, sensible, tense |
Dominant Traits
61% of people think that Shirley Moy is caring
All Percentages
able (2%) accepting (2%) adaptable (5%) bold (8%) brave (8%) calm (14%) caring (61%) cheerful (14%) clever (8%) complex (8%) confident (17%) dependable (5%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (41%) giving (14%) happy (5%) helpful (41%) idealistic (2%) independent (32%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (14%) introverted (0%) kind (29%) knowledgeable (14%) logical (2%) loving (20%) mature (8%) modest (11%) nervous (2%) observant (2%) organised (8%) patient (11%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (2%) reflective (2%) relaxed (5%) religious (20%) responsive (5%) searching (5%) self-assertive (5%) self-conscious (11%) sensible (0%) sentimental (14%) shy (8%) silly (2%) spontaneous (2%) sympathetic (2%) tense (0%) trustworthy (14%) warm (8%) wise (2%) witty (2%)
Description Breakdown (34 people)
strider thinks: friendly, independent, silly, caring, happy, relaxed.
Eric thinks: caring, helpful, self-conscious, searching, friendly, independent.
Lam Chee Chung thinks: shy, helpful, able, calm, modest, quiet.
yn thinks: calm, friendly, giving, caring, kind, mature.
Celina thinks: organised, confident, complex, idealistic, self-conscious, sentimental.
anonymous thinks: kind, helpful, knowledgeable, organised, calm.
herbert dsp thinks: friendly, independent, giving, caring, searching, spontaneous.
Cheah Keat thinks: loving, caring, helpful, giving, sentimental.
Ray thinks: wise, responsive, logical, trustworthy, confident, complex.
Minh Ha thinks: cheerful, mature, trustworthy, friendly, intelligent.
nexusrao thinks: helpful, religious, loving, caring, knowledgeable, bold.
Anonymous thinks: adaptable, confident, helpful, independent, trustworthy, cheerful.
Jeslyn thinks: friendly, caring, sentimental, organised, confident.
masy13 thinks: caring, helpful, independent, sentimental, accepting.
jonny thinks: independent, confident, brave, knowledgeable, responsive, patient.
cougar thinks: caring, friendly, intelligent, patient, loving.
larissa thinks: loving, clever, kind, religious, caring, friendly.
ronald koh thinks: knowledgeable, religious, self-assertive, adaptable, friendly.
Thierry thinks: loving, relaxed, caring, intelligent, modest.
Chaiyun thinks: caring, religious, trustworthy, helpful, self-conscious.
csti thinks: caring, dependable, helpful, kind, religious, warm.
jasNkoh thinks: confident, intelligent, calm, kind, helpful, reflective.
Anonymous thinks: independent, caring, cheerful, modest, bold, helpful.
Jason thinks: witty, independent, loving, self-assertive, caring, giving.
Mnemosyne thinks: caring, friendly, brave, happy, independent.
Pr.Sam thinks: caring, knowledgeable, modest, trustworthy, mature, helpful.
Serena thinks: complex, friendly, giving, helpful, kind.
anonymous thinks: nervous, sentimental, self-conscious, kind, brave, caring.
Waikuan thinks: calm, caring, loving, patient, sympathetic, helpful.
Soo Hsia thinks: caring, cheerful, clever, shy, warm.
jeff thinks: friendly, observant, intelligent, clever, kind.
Brandon thinks: religious, friendly, warm, kind, shy.
joe thinks: independent, kind, cheerful, patient, dependable.
Huey Meng thinks: independent, caring, religious, bold, friendly.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
He made all things beautiful in His time
30th October 2007,
It's October, 2 more days then it'll be November and 2 more months it's 2008. Time flies.. ya ya ya, time really really flies. I really wish I can put a brake on the clock to pause...to stop it from clicking, or maybe reverse the time. But I know I can't! You can't redeem the time that has been lost! I always imagine how wonderful it is, if I have all the controls on time, whether to forward it, or to reverse it. Ya.. there's one old movie, about time machine.. really can't remember the title. Another recent movie is CLICK... just a click on the hand..
I guess I need some changes in my life. I'm in the comfort zone, doing everyday' mundane, routine.. not sure of the next direction, will I be staying in Penang for my whole life? Or, if there's opportunity to relocate, will I be willing to do so? ...Whar's next for me? Was talking to Dr Leong this morning,.. I shared that am not sure how long I'll be staying in GMC, things getting routine and mundane.. I should have been learning other new things?... Many things in my mind..about the future, about the right timing.. I need to rest assured of His omnipotent, and to rest assured that He made ALL things BEAUTIFUL in His TIME. He holds the time in His hands... A thousand days seem one day in to Him, He is the reason for the season..whatever season we may be in... He made all things beautiful in His time!
It's October, 2 more days then it'll be November and 2 more months it's 2008. Time flies.. ya ya ya, time really really flies. I really wish I can put a brake on the clock to pause...to stop it from clicking, or maybe reverse the time. But I know I can't! You can't redeem the time that has been lost! I always imagine how wonderful it is, if I have all the controls on time, whether to forward it, or to reverse it. Ya.. there's one old movie, about time machine.. really can't remember the title. Another recent movie is CLICK... just a click on the hand..
I guess I need some changes in my life. I'm in the comfort zone, doing everyday' mundane, routine.. not sure of the next direction, will I be staying in Penang for my whole life? Or, if there's opportunity to relocate, will I be willing to do so? ...Whar's next for me? Was talking to Dr Leong this morning,.. I shared that am not sure how long I'll be staying in GMC, things getting routine and mundane.. I should have been learning other new things?... Many things in my mind..about the future, about the right timing.. I need to rest assured of His omnipotent, and to rest assured that He made ALL things BEAUTIFUL in His TIME. He holds the time in His hands... A thousand days seem one day in to Him, He is the reason for the season..whatever season we may be in... He made all things beautiful in His time!
Lord, what's next for me? I believe You have a good plan for me, a plan to prosper me and not to harm me, a plan to give me hope and future. What's next, in this stage... am I done? If not, what's Your next? Help me to see a bigger pictures of what You have for me, help me to see that in the eyes of Faith, help me to discover Your mystery, help me to be in Your Plan...
God's Wisdom vs. Worldly Wisdom
30th October 2007,
4.30pm Tuesday. Today has been real busy, was on leave yesterday and the load just pick up. But am coping well.
Has been doing a lot of soul-searching for the past few weeks. Evaluating my reaction in the workplace, analyzing myself... my response towards offenses and criticism. Am actually not a person of strong character, strong character in the sense of iron-willed, but I can be determined if I want to do something that I feels right. It's a little mixture. I can also be very emotional..which is vey bad. I can mixed my emotion in how I handle issues in life, in work. And to some point I can be very defensive. As I analyzing myself, I realise that my character has changed over time. I don't know whether this is good, or this is normal. People said your temperament will change over time, depending on your dealing each day. What a complexity of human nature...
When I was young, I always feel like wanting to grow up fast into adulthood, but now.. as I'm aging, I wanna return to my childhood time. As I reflect back, maybe... I lost the 'innocent' of being a child, or 'childlikeness', or the "naive-ness". I hope it's not too late to realise this.. We're in the world but not of the world. We work not in human-system for God-system.. God's way of thinking is higher than worldly thinking. If worldly wisdom holds us back from God, it's NOT wisdom at all. We must be careful,..Ro 12:10 is very true, not to CONFORM to the standard of the world, but to be TRANSFORMED by renewing our mind.
4.30pm Tuesday. Today has been real busy, was on leave yesterday and the load just pick up. But am coping well.
Has been doing a lot of soul-searching for the past few weeks. Evaluating my reaction in the workplace, analyzing myself... my response towards offenses and criticism. Am actually not a person of strong character, strong character in the sense of iron-willed, but I can be determined if I want to do something that I feels right. It's a little mixture. I can also be very emotional..which is vey bad. I can mixed my emotion in how I handle issues in life, in work. And to some point I can be very defensive. As I analyzing myself, I realise that my character has changed over time. I don't know whether this is good, or this is normal. People said your temperament will change over time, depending on your dealing each day. What a complexity of human nature...
When I was young, I always feel like wanting to grow up fast into adulthood, but now.. as I'm aging, I wanna return to my childhood time. As I reflect back, maybe... I lost the 'innocent' of being a child, or 'childlikeness', or the "naive-ness". I hope it's not too late to realise this.. We're in the world but not of the world. We work not in human-system for God-system.. God's way of thinking is higher than worldly thinking. If worldly wisdom holds us back from God, it's NOT wisdom at all. We must be careful,..Ro 12:10 is very true, not to CONFORM to the standard of the world, but to be TRANSFORMED by renewing our mind.
Monday, October 22, 2007
A Woman's Secret .. and her Prayer
A Woman's Secret .. and her Prayer
There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years.
They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $25,000. He asked her about the contents.
"When we were to be married," she said,"my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving.
He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"
"Oh," she said,"that's the money I made from selling all the dolls.
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Women will love this...
A Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods;
Because Lord,
if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years.
They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $25,000. He asked her about the contents.
"When we were to be married," she said,"my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving.
He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"
"Oh," she said,"that's the money I made from selling all the dolls.
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Women will love this...
A Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods;
Because Lord,
if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
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